It would have been nice if it had happened that way.
I pass several large parking lots on the way to the office. At one of them, the lady in the car in front of me (call her G) stopped to turn left. I stopped behind her. The lady in the car behind me (call her S) did not stop. She plowed into the back of my car at a fair clip, probably somewhere between 20 and 30mph. This pushed me forward into the back of G's car.
We all took a few seconds to catch our breath and then went to park in the aforementioned lot. About sixty seconds of dazed wandering-about-assessing-damage-are-you-o
We spent about forty minutes doing all the paperwork after that. The EMT gave us each a good once-over. All indications are that everyone is fine, just very shaken up. My neck and shoulder are a little bit stiff (it's been 14 hours at this point) but no worse than that: if they start getting worse at all I'm going to urgent care or to the hospital, no questions asked.
So... after that start to my day, I locked up the car and walked the mile or so to where the training session was. It was, as predicted, a fairly boring way to spend the day: most of the information was covered either in first-day orientation or in the online training new hires have to do in the first month.
Most of my lunch hour was spent on the phone to State Farm getting the ball rolling. Everyone involved is insured, so mostly this should consist of State Farm arguing with the other insurance company to get them to fork over the money. There is absolutely no question regarding who is at fault here.
Let's see here... damage to the cars. G's car (she was in front) has minor scratches on its rear bumper. That isn't even worth telling the insurance company about. S's car had its front end crunched pretty well. The bumper is crushed, the hood is buckled upward to the point where the car isn't safe to drive faster than about 10mph, the front grille is in bad shape... there may be further damage. That's just what I saw from a quick look. My car got it both coming and going. The hood is bowed upward a couple inches: still latched securely closed, though. The front bumper is somewhat beat up. It's cracked over on the right side near the headlight. The back end is where most of the damage is. The bumper itself is totally crushed. It took a fair amount of twisting and shoving and some work with a screwdriver to get it to the point where it wasn't scraping against the rear wheels. The struts that attach the bumper to the car frame are warped and twisted. I wouldn't be surprised if it takes a torch to get them out. The car frame itself is at least a little bit warped back there: the trunk doesn't shut all the way. The metal forming the well for the spare tire inside the trunk is crumpled and accordioned in on itself. Again, there may be more damage that I haven't seen: this is just what I could fine in ten or fifteen minutes of poking around.
Everyone involved is okay, just shaken. Odds are that my car is totaled. I'll find out tomorrow. We had been planning to get a second car sometime in the next eighteen months... this is probably going to push that up to the Very Near Future.
Sigh. What a way to start the week.